IDAS – Domestic Abuse Community Based Support Services
- The client thanked IDAS, she explained that before working with us she couldn’t see a way out, that she had just given up and thought this would be her life forever. She is very grateful for the support. She no longer dreads coming home from work and feels safe at home.
- J tells me that she is very grateful for the support, she has found recognising the abuse and control leading up and including the sexual assaults helpful for her. She can now see that she can and will recover.
- Client thankful of support from IDAS for being ‘consistent and holistic’, said she has had bad experiences with other agencies but has always had solid and reassuring support from IDAS.
IDAS – Support Services for Young People Demonstrating Abusive Behaviours
- “Gave me reassurance. My parenting needed tweaking, I knew what I needed to do – the support offered, gave me the confidence to change my parenting style. As a single parent I struggle – but having Respect was a backup and this boosted my confidence. Even though my son declined support, I feel he still benefited from my participation with the respect programme. (My support worker) said at the end of the programme ‘that you have my number if you ever need anything else please contact me’ – I thought this offer was great and that I can access support in the future this gives me reassurance.”
- “I really liked the family session even though mum got emotional like she always does, I was able to tell her things I haven’t said in a long time. It was nice, definitely want to spend more time with her.” and “Thanks, that was really something we needed. (Son) has come leaps and bounds. He even sets a good example for his brother and gets him to school on time. I need to make sure that I spend more one on one time with him.”
- “It’s nice seeing mum laughing again, we can sit together and watch comedies together now. We have the same humour; think it’s helped because I have been coming to these sessions.”
Foundation – Support Services for Perpetrators of Domestic Abuse
- “Thank you for your support. For the first time in two years I feel I’m heading in the right direction. You have helped me to identify my harmful behaviour and you never gave up on me. I’ve not really had a family and it’s been hard to lean on people and at time this has caused me to make the wrong decision. Thank you Foundation”
- Client said he is very grateful that the support from foundation has been outstanding. Client said his worker has been supportive and he’s thankful that he was patient and able to help him to identify his behaviour. “I have now been able to put in place the tools I have learnt in to my relationship to make it safe”.
- The client informed me that he had found the whole process really helpful in his words: “I didn’t realise there were different categories of domestic abuse”, and that his knowledge was better informed and he is happy to have taken part.
IDAS – Independent Sexual Violence Advisor Services
- “I am very happy with the ISVA service, I really do feel that it was a life line during such a difficult process, I would not have been able to manage without your brilliant support. Thank you again (ISVA).”
- “(ISVA) has been so understanding and supportive. She made me feel at ease and safe. Always provided a friendly environment. Great knowledge and very helpful throughout the whole process. 10/10! I wouldn’t improve anything of the service!”
- “(ISVA) helped me so much. She was there to listen to me and I felt she understood what I had gone through.
Mountain Healthcare Ltd – Adult Sexual Assault Referral Centre & CSAAS
- Very attentive and nurturing, extremely polite and helpful if you have any questions.
- Really friendly and made me feel comfortable straight away. Lovely ladies to chat with very welcoming.
- The staff were lovely and made me feel at ease despite the sad situation.
- Welcoming and very supportive, the staff explained the procedure well.
- They looked after me well and I felt very safe and comfortable. Thank you.
- The staff were really friendly and helpful.
- Was nice and caring and through with me very caring.
- Mine was a very sensitive issue (CSA) so I was more nervous than I might have been for something else. [The counsellor] was incredible at their job; they listened, supported, challenged me when needed. They were incredibly kind … I formed a real strong working relationship with them. I felt very safe which was important. They also made me finally realise that none of what happened was my fault. I have been able to let go of a heavy, heavy load I was carrying as no one (quite rightly) in real life wants to hear about CSA. I feel so fortunate to have had this opportunity … and I will always support CCL in any way I can.
- My counsellor saved my life. I came out of a 12 year abusive relationship where the gaslighting I experienced was so bad, I didn’t trust my own mind at all. There are not enough ways to say thank you for the way she helped me.
Changing Lives – Women’s Wellness Centre
- “I really appreciate your continuous support…I would have absolutely given up trying by now or possibly be swept under the carpet and put in a mental unit. Most importantly I hope you know that without your encouragement I wouldn’t have been ready for my daughter’s return. So basically the service you provide is life changing for everyone. I do hope I can be using this horrific experience to help others and get back to work in your field, the sooner the better so I feel like I have a purpose. I made an achievable goal list last night for the next 12 months, three months ago I couldn’t plan a week let alone the next day! Thank you so much!”
- Helen* reported to us that when she first heard about the women’s centre it was going to be really ‘stuffy and clinical’ but has found it to be really worthwhile and she has made some great connections with the staff and the clients during her time here, she really feels like part of the team.
- From Twitter – “The Exploring Culture & Identity discussion group created by Amy has turned into one of the greatest highlights of my week. It’s like a safe parallel universe where one can unlearn, learn and relearn about one’s self through connecting with others”
PACE – PLO Service
- ‘You helped me understand exploitation and how *daughter’s names* were at risk. You told me what things we could do to try and improve the situation. You helped me get everyone to focus on getting *daughter’s name* to come and live with me and it happened.’ – Parent
- ‘You were very understanding of our situation. You really helped me increase my knowledge and understanding of exploitation and online risks. You helped me figure out how to talk to my daughters about what had happened and how I can talk to them in the future. I feel I have learned a lot and that I have been able to put a lot of boundaries in place that are working.’ – Parent
- ‘It’s been really good having you to talk to and get advice from. You have helped me understand exploitation and how to manage the concerns there are for *Grandson’s name*.’ – Parent
The Children’s Society – Hand in Hand Service
Victim Support – IVA
- I honestly don’t know where you found Pauline or if all members of Victim support staff are as dedicated, compassionate and as knowledgeable as her, as I have only worked with her but Pauline and the service she provided from VS has been on the most supportive and encouraging relationships I have had throughout this whole process. It was safe, it was empowering and I was always certain that someone would be there throughout the investigation process and CICA involvement. In my case, the support was long term as there were a lot of delays and unexpected turns. There were so many times when I reached the end of my reserves, was re-traumatised by ongoing police action or requests from CICA. I know wholeheartedly this journey and subsequent resolution would never have been possible without the dedicated and personalised support of VS and Pauline, especially. I’m quite tearful even just typing this, and I really hope that you grasp the enormity of my gratitude. Thank you.
- “It’s been fantastic support and I would recommend others to access support from Victim Support”.
- “You are the only person who has wanted to help me get the support that I needed and also who kept in regular contact, thank you.”
- “Our ordeal was terrifying and lasted over 12 months until crown court and sentencing for someone that caused terror and fear to me and my wife. From the outset until court, Pauline gave us excellent advice and also guidance to both our personal circumstances and working life and was always at the end of the telephone or in person. At any given time or notice. She has been a rock to ourselves. Whilst I do not hope that I never have to go through this again, I know that Pauline will help many other individuals or families in the future that will seek sanctuary within her personality, guidance and above all else reassurance that they are on the right path. I apologise if this may seem “over the top” but I can only state that it is heart felt.”
Restorative Justice provided by Restorative Solutions
Assault and Public Order Case – Emergency Workers
- The offender was verbally abusive to the ambulance crew who attended, including threats to rape the female paramedic. On arrival at hospital, the offender continued to be abusive and punched the ambulance technician, at which point he was arrested for both offences. All parties met in a face-to-face meeting and the offender explained himself and apologised for his conduct immediately. He said he had written letters to both emergency workers but had been unable to get these conveyed. He explained that because of this, he had contacted the ambulance service direct and asked about fundraising. As a result, he did a 21-day challenge and raised £1000 for the service. Both Paramedic and Technician accepted his apology, provided he had learned from his experience and would not repeat the behaviour. The offender said he had moderated his drinking and did not wish to ever put a person in that situation again. The ambulance crew said it was good to know their initial perception that the offender was ‘not an idiot’ was correct. And to be able to challenge his behaviour and know it would not be repeated felt good. The offender was grateful he could apologise and show this was out of character for him and be able to make amends.
Death by Dangerous Driving
- In 2018, Paul* caused the death of two 17-year-old males, George and Mason, and serious injury to five others by driving dangerously on a road resulting in a collision. He was sentenced to 11-years.
On the RJ process, Sarah says: ‘From the initial meeting I felt my voice was finally going to be heard. I feel that a weight has been lifted slightly, as hearing it from myself has had a much bigger bearing.’ Angela says she has: ‘No regrets doing this and would encourage other victims to do this.’
Both offenders said they were glad they agreed to take part. Paul summed it up by saying: ‘I hope I have given the two mums the answers to some of their questions and therefore allowed them to move forward in a positive way. To be able to do that, I would do the process again, even though I know how difficult it is to do.’
Sarah and Angela discuss their experience of RJ in this video: Restorative Justice Case –
Sarah and Angela *names have been changed
Racially Aggravated Assault
- The offender in this case had been drinking at a work’s Christmas party and later attempted to get into a music venue but, due to being drunk, was refused entry by the victim. The offender became verbally abusive, using racist comments towards the victim, who is a Sikh. He grabbed him by his clothing, tried to start a fight, and spat it in the victim’s face.
All parties met in a face-to-face meeting which, due to Covid 19 restrictions, was outdoors in Museum Gardens in York. Both victim and offender were extremely nervous about the meeting and yet surprised.
The victim listened to the offender talk about his issues with drink but how he was by no means excusing his actions; he was disgusted with himself for his behaviour and could not apologise enough for the harm caused. He went on to say he was concerned that the alcohol had exacerbated what may have been already there and he wished to explore this with the victim. The victim explained the impact of the incident and how he had been subjected to this kind of behaviour many times in his life which is why he wished to challenge the offender in this case.
The offender was extremely grateful to the victim in allowing him the opportunity to apologise and assure him this was not who he was and taken steps to ensure he did not do this to anyone else.